How My World Came Crashing Down in Miami 👿🌴

The world absolutely changes once you learn to control your emotions (and your alcohol). I was half way there: we had the perfect set up because pool party was right downstairs from our hotel room. I happily put my car keys down & headed straight for the margaritas. In the midst of dancing, pouring & of taking pictures, my phone disappeared in thin air 🌫🤯 (It gets better.) Somehow, I still forced myself out with my girlfriends. But that’s when you realize the world has changed — your food comes & you think, “I’m just supposed to eat this?!” I didn’t want to be the friend who ruins the evening because I had a bad night. I didn’t want to put any negative energy on anyone else. 

The next day, I got up bright & early to handle my business. T-Mobile had me talking to everyone but they certainly handled everything. Another proud moment came up when I decided to have them see how much a new phone would cost, as opposed to a replacement phone ($249). It was $98! 🤩 It was such a good deal another store clerk came up just to see the details of my account. As a[n apparently valued] customer of 6 years, I am SO happy my numbers are all in the right place. I’ve been working really hard at being financially responsible & small moments like this are enough of a reward. 

Still, my life refuses to be easy. I walked outside to get in my rental car, my car was GONE 🚗 Although it was towed (thankfully) a short ride away, I wanted to break down and cry so badly that I did 😫 I went back up to our hotel room, went into the bathroom & stuffed my face in a towel. 

The thing with me is, I’ve got to feel my emotions full out. I’ve spent enough time in my life holding emotions in to be strong, kind, polite or whatever. Those feelings eat you from the inside. When you don’t own your true feelings, the guilt and worry will keep you up at night. The anger gets displaced into people you should love, but mostly you end up taking it out on yourself. You can ruin your own life, pretending you don’t feel anything. 

There aren’t many positive venues for expressing your anger, sadness or frustration… but you’ve got to find one. Sometimes you need to dance. Sometimes you need a drink. Sometimes you need to cry. All in moderation, tho… This here is how I express myself – I use my pen 🤷🏽‍♀️

It took me a while to understand that the sky falls down on all of us sometimes, but it never rains all over the world at the same time. We all have our bad days even if you can’t see what the other person has gone through. I’ve learned that I actually can’t stay positive through it all. Eventually, I might need to stuff my face into a pillow or towel (or with food) and just cry. I try to control my energy & own my emotions. You gotta do what you wanna do, right?

These are just my thoughts. Just what I was feeling at the time. 💭