Flying Solo: The Final Break-Up that Sent me on a Solo Trip to P.R.

I can’t remember the last thing he “did” for me. He liked to say that our trip to Jamaica in July last year was my “best vacation” ever because it was all-inclusive and he barely had to plan anything… I know he’s wrong because I loved Cuba more (& I went with my mom). We had gotten into arguments on the flight to and from paradise and I can’t tell you why I hung on… trying to make it to 3 years; wasting my precious time.

Should I Get Back w/ My Ex?

How many times are you supposed to forgive someone you love? God says as many times as they hurt you, but your bff’s answer is “Never”. But if you’ve ever actually been in a relationship, you know the answer is, “As many times as I damned well please” 💁🏽‍♀️ With this last break up, I learned the hard way to stop looking to friends for comfort, especially if you don’t want advice.

Office Politics + Mind Games

I got so stressed out at work I started reading The 48 Laws of Power. For the 4th time in my career, I feel like I’ve been looked over and not recognized. As I continue taking steps up the corporate ladder, I only hope the politics don’t pull me down. “Who you know here matters more than what you know,” is something the Director of HR told us in a leadership seminar. How can I stay motivated, while feeling like my merit will never be rewarded?

How I Force a Peaceful Existence

Written by President ELLA

I’ve spent the last year trying to find peace. Since I don’t want to give up on possibilities, I’ve found myself redefining things like “happiness”, “success”, “love” and “friendship”. I’m constantly weighing what the world says these things looks like vs what I believe they are vs what I have. It’s real easy to search for #relationshipgoals or #friendshipgoals and come out depressed.

Are you clingy?

PresidentElla‘s Thoughts:

I’m definitely clingy. I know this because he just told me I am about an hour ago. Until just now, I’ve been trying to fight admitting the fact that I want to be all up under my guy as much as possible… but enough of the denial. There have always been particular labels I think a woman tries to avoid in her life: bitch, hoe, prude, crazy, dumb and (seemingly less threatening of these) clingy. I didn’t think I was clingy until I admitted to myself that I am most comfortable doing what I love in life, when I have love in my life. I tell you… it’s hard to focus when you don’t know where your man is. But when you feel supported and loved, there’s nothing you can’t handle

Admitting my Fear of Love

Written by Ella

I’m not afraid of love. I’m more afraid to miss out on it. I don’t think I’m alone in that, that’s why we end up giving ourselves to people who don’t deserve us, hoping they’ll love us in return. I think the fear comes in not being able to gauge someone’s commitment to you, because a lot of us (myself included) have a tough time understanding what love looks like. I can’t count how many times I’ve heard the “every couple fights” debate and people insinuating that you have to go through the worst in order to know if it’s “real”. But sometimes, a person is simply a shitty person. But the person who loves you will always  love you back. I stick by that.