I’m officially in the 10th year of my professional career, so I’m not here to play games. I’m trying to tread carefully, but prove myself at the same time. For the first time in forever, I’m working with a group of people who only care about one thing: get the job done. As I finished off my first round of meet & greets, I can tell they all have personality — that’s the best and worst part of my job. As a project manager, my job is make sure things get done. With that said, people have to trust and like me. I’ve gotten used to this fact, so as I start this new job, i want to make sure they respect me; I want them to know that who I am, is a great person all-around. Not only am I someone you can grab coffee with, but someone you can depend on to meet the deadline.
As a woman or color, I honestly feel the “Olivia Pope Pressure” in which I have to be twice as good as everyone else; my excellence isn’t celebrated, rather expected 🙇🏽♀️ If I don’t assimilate fast enough, I will be pushed out. In addition, it feels somehow easier to treat me like an assistant or secretary. While my co-worker might not care about doing menial or grunt work, I can only put up with so much for so long. I need to feel like I’m growing or excelling in my career and like there are opportunities for my growth. I know “black don’t crack” but I prefer not to be considered based on my appearance or age. I’ve been at my current job for 5 years now and I was passed over twice. I’ve had enough 😤
I’ve been trying to be patient with everything & everyone; from my job to my friends to my boyfriend, if it isn’t one thing, it’s another. Over the years, tho, I feel like I’ve finally learned the trick: feel less. I’m not saying that will work for you 🤷🏽♀️ but I’ve definitely been known to put more work into a relationship than it deserves. I started to wonder if, maybe, my expectations for people were too high.
I got so stressed out at work I started reading The 48 Laws of Power. For the 4th time in my career, I feel like I’ve been looked over and not recognized. As I continue taking steps up the corporate ladder, I only hope the politics don’t pull me down. “Who you know here matters more than what you know,” is something the Director of HR told us in a leadership seminar. How can I stay motivated, while feeling like my merit will never be rewarded?