Personal Growth

How My World Came Crashing Down in Miami 👿🌴

You know that feeling when everything that could possibly goes wrong happens exactly how it would if your enemy were writing your life story? Yea, well… that’s exactly how Miami’s Art Basel weekend went for me. Tiffany Haddish has this joke about how the devil lives in Miami & I’m telling y’all she’s right because he stole my phone. Let me tell you the story… 

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The Lessons I Learned from Loss

The only thing that hurts me more than to watch a mother lose her son, is to watch a sister lose her brother. On November 3rd, we lost my cousin, Julio Angel Berroa Jr., to the night. While I was out enjoying my Halloween, my cousin was fighting his demons. I can only make guesses at to what he was trying to escape from, but since his passing, it’s been hard for me to focus. “Ya murió,” my mother confirmed Junior was officially gone to me through text message. As much as I wanted to be by his side & shake him out of that coma, I know I wouldn’t have been able to stomach it. I don’t know how my mother did it. I didn’t know what to do or say, but unfortunately, I knew how to feel.

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The Annual @IROKART Pop Up Show – Brooklyn, NY

If there is one things I’m always reminder of at the @IROKART pop up show is that I have to dedicate my heart more than anything else. As patrons walk in, they have plenty to choose from – plenty artists, plenty products, plenty food and plenty drinks. At the door, you’re more than likely to be greeted by Kori’s family — I don’t know them personally, but I immediately feel like my whole family is in the building. Vendors of all types are stationed around the room ready to give you whatever you’re in the market for.

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My Hot Girl Summer (Defined)

The heat is on. Women have never been as powerful as they are today and I’m here for it. The streets have dubbed this summer “Hot Girl Summer” and that’s reason enough to show out. But am I the only one feeling the pressure? 

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New Job: Stay Hungry, Stay Humble

I’m officially in the 10th year of my professional career, so I’m not here to play games. I’m trying to tread carefully, but prove myself at the same time. For the first time in forever, I’m working with a group of people who only care about one thing: get the job done. As I finished off my first round of meet & greets, I can tell they all have personality — that’s the best and worst part of my job. As a project manager, my job is make sure things get done. With that said, people have to trust and like me. I’ve gotten used to this fact, so as I start this new job, i want to make sure they respect me; I want them to know that who I am, is a great person all-around. Not only am I someone you can grab coffee with, but someone you can depend on to meet the deadline.

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How I Tripled My Worth.

As a woman or color, I honestly feel the “Olivia Pope Pressure” in which I have to be twice as good as everyone else; my excellence isn’t celebrated, rather expected 🙇🏽‍♀️ If I don’t assimilate fast enough, I will be pushed out. In addition, it feels somehow easier to treat me like an assistant or secretary. While my co-worker might not care about doing menial or grunt work, I can only put up with so much for so long. I need to feel like I’m growing or excelling in my career and like there are opportunities for my growth. I know “black don’t crack”  but I prefer not to be considered based on my appearance or age. I’ve been at my current job for 5 years now and I was passed over twice. I’ve had enough 😤

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A Letter to Nipsey

Dear Nipsey,

This is my first of these; I figure I can speak directly, now. I can’t say I was your biggest fan, I just know I knew your songs even if I wasn’t aware of it. Only thing I ever knew about you was you did it your way; I’m learning to walk my walk. Music is a powerful thing. Still, it seems you were well aware of the greater evil lurking. It’s a shame violence chases men like you, like it does.

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Finding the right time & place.

I’ve been trying to be patient with everything & everyone; from my job to my friends to my boyfriend, if it isn’t one thing, it’s another. Over the years, tho, I feel like I’ve finally learned the trick: feel less. I’m not saying that will work for you 🤷🏽‍♀️ but I’ve definitely been known to put more work into a relationship than it deserves. I started to wonder if, maybe, my expectations for people were too high. 

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Office Politics + Mind Games

I got so stressed out at work I started reading The 48 Laws of Power. For the 4th time in my career, I feel like I’ve been looked over and not recognized. As I continue taking steps up the corporate ladder, I only hope the politics don’t pull me down. “Who you know here matters more than what you know,” is something the Director of HR told us in a leadership seminar. How can I stay motivated, while feeling like my merit will never be rewarded?

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Get Out of that Bad Mood

From the outside looking in, it can seem like you’re always in a bad mood and like no matter if you were given the sun, moon and the stars, you’d still be unhappy. Unfortunately, if it seems that way, it might just be true. What people forget to think about though is the fact that you may never be satisfied by the sun, moor or stars, if what you desire is mountains and waterfalls. If you’re not happy, you have to take a step back and reevaluate — for yourself— what is is that is making you upset and take charge to change that energy.

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Learning to Say “No”

The first step towards getting what you want, is to stop accepting the shit you don’t want. But that’s easier said than done, I know. In order to be efficient, I need to make sure I’m doing the right thing, at the right time, in the right way (I learned that in a leadership course at work). I need to get rid of all actions (and people) in my life that don’t add value. While I want to be “loved by all” I don’t have the space in my heart to help everyone, do everything or be everywhere. I’ve learned the hard way to say “no” to shit that can potentially fuck up my life, no matter the “time we put in” or whatever sob story I’m given. I have the right to control my life; I have the right to say “no”.

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How I Force a Peaceful Existence

Written by President ELLA

I’ve spent the last year trying to find peace. Since I don’t want to give up on possibilities, I’ve found myself redefining things like “happiness”, “success”, “love” and “friendship”. I’m constantly weighing what the world says these things looks like vs what I believe they are vs what I have. It’s real easy to search for #relationshipgoals or #friendshipgoals and come out depressed.

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