ASK ELLA: Is this my Queen?

I met a young lady last November, exchanged numbers and from that point we talked literally every day via calls and texts. After like a month I noticed a lack of calls .. So I reciprocated the same energy. After 2 weeks of me not calling, she calls like, Wassup? Why you stop calling me?Continue reading “ASK ELLA: Is this my Queen?”

Do you Want Someone to Complete You or Compliment You?

What I prefer is a compliment; unexpected additions to my life that somehow make it better than I imagined. Sometimes, you don’t know what you’re looking for until it’s given to you. Sometimes, there is just something missing or “off” and it’s difficult, if not impossible to pinpoint exactly why this relationship isn’t working. While I knew I wanted to be supported in my dreams, I didn’t understand how or how much. People love to talk that “my other half” and “50/50” talk but, to me, that just sounds like I’m missing something. Am I missing half of me? Would I only be half of myself without another person?

Flying Solo: The Final Break-Up that Sent me on a Solo Trip to P.R.

I can’t remember the last thing he “did” for me. He liked to say that our trip to Jamaica in July last year was my “best vacation” ever because it was all-inclusive and he barely had to plan anything… I know he’s wrong because I loved Cuba more (& I went with my mom). We had gotten into arguments on the flight to and from paradise and I can’t tell you why I hung on… trying to make it to 3 years; wasting my precious time.

Should I Get Back w/ My Ex?

How many times are you supposed to forgive someone you love? God says as many times as they hurt you, but your bff’s answer is “Never”. But if you’ve ever actually been in a relationship, you know the answer is, “As many times as I damned well please” 💁🏽‍♀️ With this last break up, I learned the hard way to stop looking to friends for comfort, especially if you don’t want advice.

Finding the right time & place.

I’ve been trying to be patient with everything & everyone; from my job to my friends to my boyfriend, if it isn’t one thing, it’s another. Over the years, tho, I feel like I’ve finally learned the trick: feel less. I’m not saying that will work for you 🤷🏽‍♀️ but I’ve definitely been known to put more work into a relationship than it deserves. I started to wonder if, maybe, my expectations for people were too high. 

Who Should Love Who More?

Written by President ELLA

We all have lists of what we want in a relationship and in a partner, don’t we? Even if you haven’t consciously figured it out and written down your list just yet, we all have preferences — and we’re allowed to. I have the right to choose tall dark and handsome, or… not. But one thing I think we all want, is to be loved. We all want to be desired and I’ve learned that even though I want to feel like my man “loves me more”, I need to love him just as much. 

Learning to Say “No”

The first step towards getting what you want, is to stop accepting the shit you don’t want. But that’s easier said than done, I know. In order to be efficient, I need to make sure I’m doing the right thing, at the right time, in the right way (I learned that in a leadership course at work). I need to get rid of all actions (and people) in my life that don’t add value. While I want to be “loved by all” I don’t have the space in my heart to help everyone, do everything or be everywhere. I’ve learned the hard way to say “no” to shit that can potentially fuck up my life, no matter the “time we put in” or whatever sob story I’m given. I have the right to control my life; I have the right to say “no”.

How Vacation Saved my Life

Written by PresidentELLA

Nothing has kept me sane in the past year like traveling. At this age (if you don’t know how old I am, you won’t know), life has started to feel a bit… stalled, as if I need a next step and I don’t know what it is. Complacency is not my comfort zone. I don’t have any children & sometimes that makes me feel unaccomplished or just… missing something… but then I remember I also don’t own a home to put the kid in or a husband to have one with so I’m ok with waiting on the kid. It’s easy to look up at the things people have and only see the good things while ignoring the difficulties, so I try not to.

Leaving The “Petty” Behind

I’m not perfect because I’m petty. “Petty” is uncapping the syrup bottle and doing pirouettes in the kitchen because he thinks he can get get rid of you easy and you think to yourself, “Nah, playboy. Dealing with me is a sticky situation.” I don’t know if the syrup was worse than the egging but I do know that he should have never done whatever it was he did (because you know I already forgot what it was). Really… I was just angry… at everything.