Double-Edged Sword of Success


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How long should you stay at your job? How long do you stay loyal? That opinion seems to shift through generations, industries, genders and location. As we hit milestones in our lives, it’s inevitable to start thinking “what’s next” before it actually gets here. But how do you know if the grass is greener on the other side? 🌾What are you really looking for? The money? The title? It’s funny how these can play into your professional and romantic life. What next? How do I know? I feel like I’m being forced to determine the rest of my life right now 🙇🏽‍♀️

Life is a chess game. You need to make sure your next move is your best move. – T.I. “Why You Wanna”

My mother’s generation is the loyal type — she’d stay in the same place and work her way up the ladder, if she could. Today’s millennials put a 2-3 year time stamp on most jobs before they start looking for the next place— but I think that’s what you d when you’ aren’t particularly talented or passionate. (If the shoe fits, yo 🤷🏽‍♀️) It might be the same for relationships. Women are freer today — I don’t feel as pressured to get married and have a baby as my mom or even my big sister did.  We don’t like to “waste time” but home much time is enough time to tell? I work in fashion and I’d say people either stay forever (like 10+ years), or don’t stay for long (~2years) — in “who you know” environments, your job security depends on your friendships. & what about in places where there aren’t so many jobs? I say you go where you’re appreciated and you leave when you feel you’re not 🙅🏽‍♀️ Don’t wait to be emptied and abused. Leave while you still have something to leave with. Get out before they get you.

I’m from Rhode Island and when people ask me why I’m in New York City… I somehow still have to explain there aren’t as many fashion (nor advertising/marketing/media) opportunities in Rhode Island as there are in NYC. I could move to Ohio and live like a lonely Queen 🏡 , or be a Diva living in a closet in NYC 🏚. But if we’re all flocking to the same place, doesn’t that make it harder? Everyone wants to live in NYC (and I’m only slightly exaggerating) which makes it hard to leave (by choice) once you get here. How far would you go for your career?  Would you travel across the globe for a job opportunity? How about a promise of love? How much money do you have to make to be satisfied? How much does he have to make? 👀 I’m not sure of the exact measurements to any of this & I’m pained to admit that… it’s a lot. When I was in college a student lost her life when the dad committed family suicide and it taught me that money matters way too much; you can’t ignore it.  You’ve got to be making something grow. If you aren’t learning, you aren’t growing. If you aren’t growing, you aren’t living.

I think the advantage men will always have over a woman is not having to take time off after childbirth. Wanting to take time off and having to take time off are two different things. There are also the other things you have to deal with  like gaining all that extra weight 🙄🤣 It literally debilitates you, you can’t do the same things. You can’t party you can’t drink. You can barely walk. I’m anti-babyshower because I refuse to sit around sober while everyone celebrates 😤 We gon’ do it when I’m ready to party with yall. It’s just… something I think about 🥺🤣 Because… I also feel cold when I get totally focused on business and money. What is success, anyway? Ain’t it about more?

I’m still trying to force a peaceful existence but it’s hard when you don’t have the answers. I usually call my mom for the answers to questions that don’t have answers. Like most moms, she brings me peace. So… This is what she’s taught me… and what I’ve learned. Feel free to take it as a lesson, if you don’t want to learn the hard way 🤷🏽‍♀️ Otherwise, this is simply a reminder for myself & a way to pacify us both because… I’m in a point of life where I simply don’t know what’s next… I know I’m blessed but I want more… does wanting more make me ungrateful? This is what I have to tell myself:

Let go and let God. We don’t have the answers and if anyone does, he does. You are the only thing that is going to pull you through. You know the answers, you just have to be patient, have faith in God and trust in yourself. Do what is right for you. You’ve thought this out and you’ve weighed your options… In the end, all of the choices will be presented to you and… sometimes we pick the wrong one. As long as you know that is also and option and you’ve equipped yourself to deal with that it’s not really wrong, just a misstep and now you’ve got to find your footing again. Just hold on.

Just my thoughts 💭 just what I was feeling at the time… 


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