How much work does a dream take?

I had an AMAZING time at the Legacy Concert Series… and I know exactly why – I was ready. Things have been moving so rapidly lately that I’ve had no choice but to step up tot he plate and swing. I’m just embarking on a point in my life where I really don’t have much time for much of anything. Truthfully, I’d been focused on helping Lizzy Chanel promote the Rock the Stage show but when Famuss hit me in the DM to an invitation to bless the mic… well, you already know I never turn that down. Problem is, I’m trying to juggle blessings and I’ve got take what I can, while I can. I reverted to an old set because my DJ couldn’t make it and, frankly, I was disappointed. I don’t think anything compares to the passion an artists feels when they present new material. But… I’ve been trying to remind myself to value the work that I’ve put in. While I don’t want to continue to perform the same routine – practice makes perfect and I think I gave the Hunt Point Theatre what they were looking for. I’ve been performing in NYC for over 3 years now…I’ve performed for full rooms and empty ones. I’ve been working and that is why I’m so comfortable on stages now. I’m being invited instead of having to search “open mic” anywhere they’ll let me type it in… I deserve this. I’ve finally arrived to be great and so when I take the stage, I arrive with my own rendition of my favorite Kanye statement: This is what you’ve been waiting for ain’t it? This is what that people paid paper for dammit.

I’m blessed, I’m the first one to admit it… but I’ve had to learn to recognize, appreciate and apply those blessings in the right place, at the right time. Really, I don’t want to go anywhere I’m not going to be thanked with a check, but I know that that’s not realistic (#NotQuittingMyDayJob), so I have to evaluate what I’m actually getting from everything I participate in. This is my first time getting so many shows back to back and I think I’m managing fairly well but I can only imagine how many shows an actual Jay-Z or Beyoncé put on before they where recognized as great… or was it immediate? And is it every show? I could say I have an amazing show every time, but I’d have to ignore how much better I can be. I’m the type of person who always sees room for growth so that path to success is… infinite. If there’s tomorrow, there’s something better.

If I hold onto anything, it’s going to be my patience. I know, first hand, that the things that will be the most worth your time, with take up the most of your time. I remember the conversations I had with my “peers” when we would talk about college and they would say ” 4 years is too long”. Then, I graduated from college and looked back to see that they were exactly in the same place they were in when I left… then I moved to New York City and pursued the dreams they once made fun of me for. 4 years… is actually a short time. A 5 year plan is children’s play. While a lot can happen in 5 years, the time goes fast. I think some people overestimate how much they can get done in five years while other underestimate. I try to be honest with myself… which is why I won’t quite my day job. I’ve been rhyming for 3 years, performing for 13 years, writing for 24 years and I’ve been an artist from the day I breathed my first breath.

If you’re lucky… a dream will take forever. I guess that’s why they say you should love what you do… so that you can live your life. I feel bad for people chasing a dream that is unrelated to their everyday… something they have to force. I also pity those forcing their dreams into timelines because rent is due… A dream will take as long as it takes for you to realize that even the opportunity to try is a blessing. If you’re doing it, you’re doing it… I suppose the conversation then shifts to if you’re dream to to be able to do what you want… or are you only concerned in the spoils you ope will come of it?

… just my thoughts…. whatever I’m feeling at the time. And some videos and photos from my most recent dope experience. Hope you enjoy.

-Ella