How do you Know it’s Right?

Easy answer: If it’s right, it can’t be wrong. By definition. *shrugs* 

Life is simpler than we think. Sometimes, you’ve just got to submit to the reality of what is, and compare that to what you think it’s supposed to be. From there, you can judge the situation. The only way to make sure things are “right” is to allow them to be what they are – naturally – as well as to deal with them in the same way.

“I’m calling people. It’s getting annoying,” were my first words.

“Hey babe,” is how Carl answers the phone for me & probably so many other of his friends, but I know he means me when he says it. I know he’s happy to answer my call because, after 4 months of my not having a phone, conversations with me have become quite the commodity and I aim to keep it that way. During my hiatus from direct connections, people have a number of opinions, comments and questions. Some people called me out-right strange, others told me “it’s 2013, yo,” but most just wanted to know how I was dating. Truth is… I wasn’t… really.

     “I don’t like anyone,” I would say and shrug. No one could understand how I could stay sane without… dating. It’s always amazing to me, though, how people clamor for  “a love like a friendship” but can’t manage to have a relationship without sex. If I don’t like you, I don’t give a fuck –  how ya like that entendre? I swear to you my friendship with Carl is a marriage in its perfection – he’s my best friend. And I know that one day he will put a ring on it, it’s just that he’s gay. *shrugs* “You just have things to say,” he soothes me most appropriately by doing the one thing people tend to forget to do for me: listen. I’ve been learning recently that most people fail, not because they are incapable of achieving, but because they failed to understand. If you want to do things right, you must first understand what right is.

I gauge the entire world around me by how genuine my smile is. Sometimes I don’t smile at all. Sometimes, depending on what’s going on, I smile incessantly. Now, if you were going to decide what you should pursue or what you should do next, my only words of advice would be to do what makes you most happy. Still, you’ve got to pay closer attention to yourself and you emotions than any other thing on this globe. The moment you notice yourself smiling, take a step back and try to understand what exactly is making you so happy because that is what you need. 

You know it’s right when you can smile through the worst of times. I fear saying that only because it might encourage some people to ignore desperate, unhealthy situations, because he buys you shoes more than he cheats, more than he hits you. That’s not what I mean; You’ve got to weigh the good and the bad (cliché, cliché) and make sure that the positive greatly outweighs the negative. Make sure whatever you’re putting in is actually worth the stress that comes along with it — the less stress the better. Also, if you can shift yourself from a stressful situation to a relaxed one, there is where you want to be. If you plan correctly, paradise should be the goal for every move you make, the destination at the end of every path you take. 

You know it’s right when there is no disagreement.  Á la King Hov, “Facts only.” All love is equal. Sure, people are different. The way we go about things are different. The way we communicate might be different, but the way you love is always the same. Love is rooted in faith, loyalty, dependability and respect. I take my understanding of love from the purest of places and judge everything against that. The way I love my family is the way I should be able to love my friends. The way I love my God is the way I should love pursuing the gifts he’s given me. The way God loves me is the way I should love. God is “love” by my definition, so that is what I use as my ruler. I believe we all have different guides and different methods of measuring emotions and comparing interactions. 

Keep people around you who love you purely for no reason. If you feel they have other motives, they probably do –either address it calmly or rid yourself of them completely. I believe that if you want to have the world turn in your favor, you have to participate  as both your own most loyal fan and most valiant protector. Anyone who interacts with you (romantically or not) should treat you with the same adoration. Anyone who receives your art should hold you in the same esteem. Don’t settle for exactly what is right by your definition. Decide what you deserve and then demand what you came for. And remember to shoot for the sun if you want to land on a star.  At the same rate, don’t be afraid to get hurt or burned – stars are, in fact, pure fire. Roses have thorns, so gardeners where gloves… sometime you have to make things work, not by changing what your goal, but how you go about it.

Yes, I believe in perfection… destiny and all that. But no, I do not think that means everything will happen in your favor. Nor that it will be easy to get through. Nor do I believe that what’s right or perfect for me is what’s right or perfect for anyone else –but that doesn’t make it any less what it is. I believe that when things go wrong, it is your responsibility to reevaluate life and make it work in your favor. This is a tactic you should apply to everything you are forced to go through. All that “shit you’ll never use” they teach you in school, that’s actually your fault you haven’t used it. If you know how to do something, do it. If you want to change something change it. If you want something, you’ve got to act accordingly. If you want to win, you have to force others to lose. If you want to receive, you must give. If you want to be loved, you must love. If you want loyalty you must be loyal. If you want a friend, you must be one. The way you know it’s right is when you don’t have to worry about what you do, or what’s coming your war. It’s the equivalent of making money in your sleep; no worries. You know when it’s right when even the most disturbing of thoughts are outweighed by the fact that, because you deserve better, you’ll get it. You know it’s right, when you know you deserve it to be.

You know it’s right, when you can say it’s right… and mean it. If it’s right to you, that’s the right way to go.

Buena suerte ❤ 

ELLA

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